I fucked up…

 I went into the woods because I was sure something was there.

I don’t remember deciding to. I remember my shoes getting wet. I remember the smell of pine and rot and how quiet everything gets when you go just far enough that the house can’t see you anymore.

I thought if I found it—
if I looked straight at it—
it would stop hiding.

I kept hearing movement that wasn’t syncing up with my steps. Branches shifting where there wasn’t wind. Something pacing me just out of sight.

Then someone said my name.

Not from the house.

From the trees.

I couldn’t see a face. Just a shape between the trunks. Too tall to be nothing. Too still to be an animal. I remember thinking it learned how to stand like a person.

I yelled for it to stay back.

It didn’t.

I don’t remember picking up the branch. I remember the weight of it in my hands like it had already been there a while. I remember swinging because my body was already doing it.

The sound was wrong. Not wood. Not leaves.

Then everything went very quiet.

I don’t remember him falling. I remember him already on the ground when I looked again. I remember my ears ringing and my hands shaking so badly I dropped the branch like it burned me.

It was Cody.

I didn’t know it was him until he didn’t get back up.

I keep replaying the moment where he called my name and trying to hear it differently. Trying to find the version where I recognize his voice fast enough. Trying to find the second where I could have stopped.

He was just standing there. He said he didn’t want to startle me. He said it softly. Like he always does.

I don’t know how long I stood there before I realized he wasn’t moving.

I don’t know how long I stayed after that.

I don’t know how someone can be right in front of you and still not be seen.

If you’re reading this and you’ve been worried about me—
you should be.

I don’t think the thing in the woods had to touch me.

I think it just needed me to be afraid.


I called 911, it seemed like the only logical thing to do.

Please be okay.


— Edwin


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