I’m tired.

i didn’t sleep.

not really.

i stayed up until around 6am reading. forums. archived posts. medical sites. anything that looked even remotely relevant.
sleep paralysis. stress responses. environmental illness. old posts about houses that make people sick.

most of it contradicted itself.
the rest felt like people trying to name something so it would stop being scary.

i finally fell asleep when it got quiet outside.
no cars. no birds. just that dead stretch of early morning.

woke up at noon.

my body felt heavy, like i’d been underwater.
the house was still.

too still.

i checked the walls. they weren’t moving.
that almost bothered me more.

i don’t feel rested.
i feel like i missed something.

i’m going to try to sleep tonight.
i can’t keep doing this

-edwin